Accidental Exchanges.

Hey there!  I'm here critiquing from !

I always love seeing poets experimenting with traditional poetic forms, because they really can teach us a lot about how we write, where our strengths lie, and how we can improve.

As for this poem, I think the concept is pretty good, and well suited to such a short piece.  However, the idea and poem don't seem to meet their full potential here, and I think that they could with some more work.

I'll start with formal aspects of the limerick since those are a bit more cut and dry.  Although I did find myself doing a little research on the limerick form before starting this, one thing I knew beforehand is that it is a very rhythmic form – more so than many others – because of its spoken tradition.  In more specific terms, limericks traditionally call for an anapestic meter, but I'm not really going to go that in-depth here unless you want me to. 

What I will say is that you come closest to an authentic limerick rhythm in the third and fourth lines, but don't quite make it in the other three.  The best way that I can suggest to work on this in the context of this poem would be to read some examples of anapestic meter (linked above) and of limericks in general, and get a feel for what that looks like.  It's one of the more natural meters to write in, arguably.  And on top of that, it always helps to read your poems out loud, no matter what kind of writing you're doing, including free verse.  This can help you pinpoint problems with meter, word choice, and rhyming.

The issues I see with word choice and rhyming don't feel as big as the rhythm, but I do think they're still worth mentioning.  For word choice, the phrase "formal feelings" felt a little off to me (most people feel less formality with people they know better, not vice versa), as did the use of "misapprehensions" ("Apprehension" means caution, "misapprehension" means misunderstanding; did you mean the former?).  Both of those interrupt the poem a little and are worth looking at, because little things like that can hold a poem back from being its best. 

As for rhyming, you were on the right track with the first two lines, but it gets a bit blurrier after that.  What you have in lines 3-5 are certainly almost rhymes, but in general it's better to stick with more exact rhymes if at all possible.  For example, "connection" and "protection" rhyme better than "thunder" and "butter."  This is trickier in practice than in theory because sometimes it requires that you change things around to make it work, but it does tend to be worth it for a more cohesive poem.

I realize that that is a fair bit to take in, although I did stick mostly to broad strokes, but I don't want you to think that I really disliked this poem either.  The idea behind this poem is good and very relatable, and it could certainly make a great poem; it's really just technical aspects holding this poem back, and the good thing there is that those are easier to fix with practice than a lack of creativity.  So keep up the good work!