Good Morning.
I have a distressing tendency of waking up too early.
The sun escaping from the blinds always begins to stir me.
Just as I begin to behave sullen and surly, her presence averts me.
I turn to my side to see the vein in her left arm pump overtly.
She's completely immersed by the covers.
I have to resist temptation not to hold and hug her.
Her body suddenly moves with a spontaneous shudder.
Her mouth moves but not a word or sound does she utter.
I stare at her intently and push her stray hairs behind her ear.
Realising that loosing this woman will be my most dreadful fear.
Her eyes momentarily open just to make sure that I am near.
I was born alone in this world but I live my life in a pair.
She has no idea that I watch her while she sleeps.
Or that I tingle when her newly painted toes brush against my feet.
I often think what my life would be like if me and her didn't meet.
Would she even look twice if we crossed paths in the street.
Her hands move against the pillow as if she is playing a keyboard.
I edge closer towards her body just so I can be more,
In tune with her slight breaths that lead to a tender snore.
I've never been so wholly infatuated with a female before.
Her closed eye lids move in every direction.
I can no longer refrain myself from conveying my affection.
I kiss her cheek and caress her smooth complexion.
She smiles and accepts my lips with no slumberous objection.
She hides her face in my chest because of her lack of cosmetics.
Moments like these make every argumentative domestic
Seem completely irrelevant and pathetic.
Our connection combines the thermal with the kinetic.
No adjective or rhyme could express how much she means to me.
I always question what is it exactly that she see's in me.
She adds warmth to my bed and defies the prosaic scenery.
I know she feels the same way
Because she says while she sleeps, she is dreaming of me.
Kela lewis-morin
Realizing that loosing this woman will be my most dreadful fear. *losing. Also, 'will be' could be changed to 'is'.
I often think what my life would be if me and her didn't meet. *she and I. The sentence that follows it should end in a question mark.
Our connection combines the thermal with the kinetic. I think this line would flow much better if it was 'Our connection combines thermal energy with kinetic.' Repetition of small words such as 'the' usually isn't a good move.
I always question what is it exactly that she see's in me. *sees. Also, is & it could be flip-flopped to keep the rhythm consistent.
She adds warmth to my bed and defies the prosaic scenery. This could be streamlined by taking out 'the' so it would read: She adds warmth to my bed and defies prosaic scenery. It just helps some more with rhythm.
Overall, this is a beautiful poem. I love the imagery, and a loving mood is practically spilling out of it. You put plenty of emotion into this. Great work!
I can't help to say this, but this really does sounds like true love~
I also think about how my life would be if I didn' t meet the boyfriend I have now. It would be so different. I wouldn't be the one I am now, at all.
The way you write goes very smoothly, it's soft-like, if you get it? xD
And you write poetry in an understanding way! I really like that. Most of my relations to poetry is that it's a lot of advanced old-fashion words filling every sentence, but you don't
But I must say I like the way you write, and what you write about
This is so cute and sweet. I dont feel like the rhymes were to forced, it is hard to write poetry that rhymes perfectly and still flows as well as it does here. This is so beautiful.
This is weird though, because I just finished watching The Vampire Diaries on Netflix, and while reading this poem, I couldn't help but think about Stefan and Elena's relationship.
Good job~