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March 24, 2013
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Opposable Positions.

So if...

Good girls are really bad girls that never got caught

And

Kings and queens are insecure people that hide behind their forts.

Then

Survivors are cowards that run away when they could’ve fought.

Which means

Celebrities are strategists and opportunists that utilise their thoughts

And

Teachers are failures who couldn’t make use of the lessons life taught.

It would seem then you are either one way or the other.

There is fine undefined line between enemies and lovers.

So pick and choose wisely when deciding what side you are on.

Because you can never know the person you one day might become.


Kela Lewis-Morin
Something I wrote today and I was surprised how quickly I was able to get it all out on to a page lol I just wanted to have a lot of rhythm and flow as usual and use enjambment of the lines to help this piece. I hope it makes sense these are just the many thoughts I have in my mind. I hope you guys like it :)
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:iconlindartz:
LindArtz Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
Ooooh deep! And me, the walking paradox in many ways, had to read this one three times to fully appreciate. - Great writing!
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:iconshesnevercomingback:
ShesNeverComingBack Featured By Owner May 19, 2013
I like it
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:iconktkeiper:
ktkeiper Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Is it supposed to be kings AND queens? It says "kings are queens"
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:iconblessedheretic:
BlessedHeretic Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Your observations, it seems, are correct - and this is the very reason why every individual needs to figure things out for themselves and challenge everything you are told to believe. That is what true freedom is.
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:iconbeatrixthefarsighted:
BeatrixTheFarSighted Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013
Kind of reflects the messed up world we're in.
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:iconabalex:
ABAlex Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2013
Interesting idea. The line about survivors is particularly interesting.
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:iconsoulreaper2000:
soulreaper2000 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dude, i really liked your poem. if it isn't much trouble can you look at what i upload and tell me what you think?
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:iconpinktwirlz:
pinktwirlz Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hello! My name is Madolyn, I am a critic for #FreeVersePoetry. Please don't be offended by anything I say, this is all intended to be constructive.

First off, I would like to point out that this is not free verse, and probably shouldn't be in this group. That being said, I enjoyed it quite a bit since free verse is all I've been reading lately. :XD: That aside though, I'll just move right along seeing as it's in the group anyway (as well as in 230 other groups...that's a bit excessive ^^;)

I really enjoyed the chant-like feel to it, and this style is something I both like reading and writing with. The meaning behind it is clear and original, and it's all in all a fun read.

Some things I would like to call attention to; the rhythm breaks up a bit in some of the lines. For example, it seems like this poem couldn't decide whether it wanted to rhyme or not. The first 5 lines all seem like they want to rhyme with "caught," but "fort" doesn't seem to work in there. I would substitute some words to make that work, or just change the rhyme pattern up to smooth out the rhythm.
Another thing; the punctuation is somewhat misused. Punctuation can make or break a poem, and if it doesn't have a positive impact, it's better to just leave it out. I would use punctuation to mark out the phrases. Maybe read it aloud to spot how you want it to sound, and change up the commas and periods to match it.

I did enjoy this :) Like I said, it's been a while since I've critiqued something non-free verse, and the style and rhythm is something I found nice. The rhythm just needs to be tweaked a bit.
Have a nice life~
-Mads
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:iconsunnynarula18:
SUNNYNARULA18 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Great rhyme in the beginning...Love the message and Love the way its being told :)
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:iconvaleriecfrechmann:
ValerieCFrechmann Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I loved this.
but couldn't you very well be on both sides? An enemy and a lover?
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