Reality Verses The Dream.
Above the confines of the earths atmosphere.
I am embraced by the luminous clouds.
With the stars in reaching distance.
Surrounded by the acoustics of the sea.
Accompanied by the alluring scents of nature.
Observing the planets that stand like monuments.
This is the place where my body wants to be.
These are the sights my eyes want to see.
This is place where my mind can be free.
This is the only place where I can truly be me.
Now back to reality.
And the self perpetuating insanity.
Constricted by the codes of a conscripted morality.
Living in a world that is drenched in disparity.
How will I ever be able to see any sort of clarity.
Below the discoloured and tarnished ceiling.
I am held captive by my dishevelled duvet.
With only material possessions at my grasp.
Surrounded by a hybrid of silence and vulgarity.
Accompanied by the foul scents of decay and pollution.
Observing a society that stand and act like naïve slaves.
This is the place where I currently reside.
With nothing but my words and faltering pride.
A place where no one focuses on the beauty inside.
A militarised zone of which there is no where to hide.
Kela lewis-morin
My favourite line would be:
"Surrounded by a hybrid of silence and vulgarity."
You might want to be careful with your poems. I've noticed that you have a tendency to be rather wordy and that loses the effect that you're trying to create. Shorter lines that have meaning has a lot more impact than, say, a whole stanza that's full of long words. I'm not good at explaining this but what I'm trying to say is that sometimes, you need to call a spade a spade.
Hoped this helped.
If you were to try to communicate both across more smoothly, you could incorporate a different type of format for either. Dream can flow smoothly, gently moving from line to line, while Insanity can be made of broken sentences and capitalized words to influence the reader's tone.
"Below the discoloured and tarnished ceiling,
I am held captive by my
dishevelled duvet
With only material possessions at my grasp
Surrounded by a hybrid of
silence and vulgarity Accompanied by the
foul scents of decay and pollution of a society that acts like naïve slaves."
So basically, just play around with your format! Poetry doesn't need to be full sentences
I have one suggestion. The transition between the first stanza and second would be smoother if you combined lines 7 and 8 from:
"Now back to reality.
And the self perpetuating insanity."
to
Now back to self-perpetuating insanity.