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Reflected Inspection


Here I am again examining my disfigured figure in the mirror.

Fondling my fat wishing I could trim it down with a pair of scissors.

Relentlessly poking, prodding and picking at my face.

Leaving behind nothing but a black, coarse and scabby trace.

Furiously patting down my cheeks begging them to be smaller.

Standing on the edge of my toes willfully imagining that I am taller.

Folding my ears inwards commanding them to decrease in size.

Hysterically trying to find the beauty they said existed in my eyes.

Scrutinizing my nose using my hands to mould it into my desired shape.

Impatiently withdrawing my stomach to wonder how I would look if I lost some weight.

Slapping my overlapping thighs repeatedly, persuading them to become firmer.

Grasping the pair of scissors at my throat with the intent of committing my own murder.

Thinking to myself how can anyone ever find me remotely attractive?

And how can I ever expect myself to be regularly sexually active.

With me looking the way I do.

Gazing into this same mirror wishing I wasn't able to see through.

Desperately wanting to cut, rearrange and trade all of my features.

Beauty is not nor has it ever been in the eye of the beholder.

You should never trust the words of a blind and hypocritical preacher.


Kela Lewis-Morin
Something I wrote today whilst looking in the mirror. It is sort of a confession but I dont want to say it is because then everyone would now how insecure I am lol anyway I hope it works and I hope you like it
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:iconsparking-order:
Sparking-Order Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
My mother always told me that people see the worst in themselves and the best in other people. This is a very honest poem, I especially like the last two lines
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:iconslug22:
Slug22 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012
I like truth... It brings it's own reality and it's own horror we all hate the parts of ourselves that we cannot perceive to be loveable by others and yet those people do love us... so there is hope but we are not the beholder we only see what is apparent to us and never look deep enough to know better. Good work :)
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:iconfreaky208:
freaky208 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi there!
This has been featured in #All-For-Art's Featured "Best Of" Poll 50 [link]
You may share this with your friends and vote for your or the other deviants' work.
Take care :rose:
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:icondsteffi:
DSteffi Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ohohoho, awesome!!! :3
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:iconinsomaniac55:
insomaniac55 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012   Writer
This is very good. It has this bare, introspective feel that's heartfelt.
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:iconblackluna:
BlackLuna Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I feel that way sometimes, mostly regarding not so much to my weight but to my figure. What I do is making little steps to change what I can. :)
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:iconattempts-at-normalcy:
Attempts-At-Normalcy Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012  Student General Artist
so true.
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:iconseldomseen222:
SeldomSeen222 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012
I couldn't stop reading it. Sad though. Everyone thinks like that somethings, I did. Your feelings, and looks change. You are too hard on yourself. Very descriptive. Keep writing. Ease up on yourself, Whatever your features are, accentuate the positive.
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:iconthe-anariarch:
The-Anariarch Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012
Most Alluring.
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:iconsilver-sticker:
Silver-Sticker Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very nice. Nice in the way being that it's so truthful... I have to admit I think most of these same things about myself, so reading this I was pretty much nodding the entire time :\

Insecure *shrug* it happens. Even if you don't see any reason, just keep trying I guess. That's what I'm doing anyway lol.

Definitely well written, Good luck finding the things you look for in the mirror :) (self-confidence? What self-confidence? o.O)
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:iconkikumizu:
KikuMizu Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012
The best way to boost self-confidence is picking a feature of yourself that is not physical but from within. If you keep to good hygiene, eat well (not always healthy but not always unhealthy), and exercise at least thirty minutes (good moderate breathing going) most days of the week, then the outer appearance will reflect the confidence within.
The reason I am so specific with the exercise part is that yes, weight beyond a certain point is unhealthy but my father is in the three-hundreds at just an inch under six feet and exercising that much has kept him from hypertension. It has also been studied that overweight and (to an extent) obese individuals who work out regularly are healthier than normal-weighted individuals who don't work out at all. Heck, I'm overweight but I can still do more physically than my friends who are in the weight levels for their height.
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:iconmadhat11d6:
MadHat11D6 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012   Writer
This isn't bad. Very honest. I like it. There are some really great parts to this piece. That being said, there are a lot of problem spots as well.

I'm starting to become more familiar with your work, and a common issue I've noticed in your pieces is flow. Some lines flow together very well, others just don't. 'Scrutinizing my nose using my hands to mould it into my desired shape./ Impatiently withdrawing my stomach to wonder how I would look if I lost some weight.' First off, you misspelled 'mold'. The second line in this pair gets a bit too wordy (and awkward), and all of the extra syllables muck it up and make the 1st line of this part look mucky when it really isn't. I would recommend changing 'stomach to wonder' to 'stomach, wondering'. it seems much more natural that way. There are a few more places with similar problems: 'Thinking to myself how can anyone ever find me remotely attractive?/And how can I ever expect myself to be regularly sexually active./With me looking the way I do.' and 'Gazing into this same mirror wishing I wasn't able to see through./Desperately wanting to cut, rearrange and trade all of my features.' and 'Beauty is not nor has it ever been in the eye of the beholder./You should never trust the words of a blind and hypocritical preacher.' Basically, the first half has a great flow, but the second half could use a lot of work. Play around with the wording a little bit, try to condense and find different words that may work better in the same context.

This issue of flow can be helped (but not fixed) by some punctuation editing. Because there is a break at the end of each line, there doesn't need to be a period. There is a natural pause there, and it looks very awkward when that is the only punctuation in the whole poem. If you want to use punctuation, you should really use punctuation! For example, the first two lines should be something like, 'Here I am again, examining my disfigured figure in the mirror./Fondling my fat, wishing I could trim it down with a pair of scissors.' If you don't want to use punctuation like that, then I highly encourage you to break out of your comfort zone a bit and try breaking up the lines! Using the first two lines as an example again, they could be, 'Here I am again/examining my disfigured figure in the mirror/Fondling my fat/wishing I could trim it down with a pair of scissors' and that would be the first stanza. There can bring out some more of that natural flow without all of that distracting punctuation, and it could be fun to try something new.

Overall, I would say you're really on to something with this piece. Play around with it a little bit (or in future pieces) and you could make it even more powerful. I hope my comments are helpful!

:iconpowerfulwriting:
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:iconnykiilynn:
NykiiLynn Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you...i dont even know. i understand what you mean when you write this, because i feel the exact same way, but you should know that i find you very very attractive. you shouldnt hate yourself like that.
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:iconpoemspoet:
PoemsPoet Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Student Writer
I can totally relate to this. I'm always saying that I'm fat or ugly or both but we are our worst critics as my dad always says. I always argue against compliments and never say thank you. I know how hard it is to accept yourself especially looks but what really matters is personality. What you gotta do is never change who you are because that's what is most important. How you act, how you treat others, who you are, those are the only things that count in the long run. Because we all end up old and wrinkly. Just don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, including yourself. I know it's hard because I beat myself up over it pretty much everyday. But I'm going to keep going, and I'm never going to change myself over what someone says or does. I don't wake up everyday to impress people, and neither should you. If someone doesn't like you, that's their problem. Don't let them get you down. And don't let you get yourself down. : ) Great piece by the way, even if it is sad. : )
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:iconmorbid-angelic:
morbid-angelic Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012
This is beautiful. And honey, I can tell you right now that absolutely EVERYONE feels this way. There's no shame in admitting your insecurities - it's all about being brave enough to look in the mirror and accept what you see. One of the hardest things in the world, but I hear it's worth it. :shrug:
Anyway, this is a really good piece of writing. It's rare to find a poem that rhymes so well without losing its fluidity. :) Too bad you didn't write this in time for the contest haha!
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:icon20shadowwolf10:
20ShadowWolf10 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012
Hey persons I do not know, your beauty is in your writing. confession or not what you wrote the way you did is awesome. We all want to change something about ourselves to feel comfortable, or to look like those movie models. Personally I see no beauty in those women or men. I see beauty in people who are able to say "Hey ya so what I am chunky?!?!?! Got a problem, go find a new friend then." Be proud a person, find the beauty within those strech marks or that little jiggle. Not trying to be offensive!!!! But don't look at "gross my fat jiggles". no look at "My body moves with me like ninja!!!!" Make it epic!!!!
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:iconglittershungergames:
Glittershungergames Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Story of my life :/
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:icontazarasei9:
tazarasei9 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i like it!
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:iconphantasm1:
Phantasm1 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm yes looking at yourself in the mirror seems to result in a lot of I'd change this, or that. I think we're all a little insecure like that.
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