I just hate myself.
I hate the life that I lead.
I hate the things that I've done.
I keep trying to figure out.
Where it is exactly that I went wrong.
No matter how hard I try to evade
And blame others for my actions.
At some point I am forced to accept.
That the problem resides within me
And the answer remains absent.
I am the common dominator.
I am the back stabbing selfish traitor.
It's nothing to do with how I was raised
Or the credentials and intentions of my creators.
We choose our own paths.
We make our own decisions.
It is only us that determine what kind of life we lead.
There may be external influences
But they only offer an easily accessible route.
That at the time seems undeniably desirable.
However deep down we know
It will never work out.
It's an obstacle we deliberately collide into.
We allow ourselves to be seduced.
We willingly submit to the negativity
That motionlessly builds momentum.
Resulting in us pushing everyone away.
Refusing any sort of assistance.
Wallowing purposely in a void of self-pity.
Stewing in the snare of silence.
Detached from any form of attachment.
And even though they might not say it
They might not even be necessarily thinking it
In my mind all I would envision them whispering is
Look at you feeling sorry for yourself.
Look at you candidly deteriorating your own health.
Look at you constantly complaining about your lack of wealth.
Look at you wishing you were someone else.
Look at you being selfish and resisting any form of help.
Look at you hating yourself.