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Stranded




Out of place,

Lost in space,
                    
                       What is my purpose?

Everyday,

I feel this same way
                              
                                When I wake up and draw the curtains.


Overshadowing questions,

Very few suggestions
                                
                                    But as usual nothing is for certain.


Living in the unknown,

Out of my comfort zone
                                     
                                     I bet I'm not the only one to have this burden.


Kela lewis-morin
something i wrote today originally a longer peice but i liked the rhyme in this not sure why lol let me know what you think i will probably upload the longer version of it when i figure out the scheme :). my ain was for this to be so simple but say alot in a few words tried to be plain and universal with the words and have a structured consistent rhyme scheme as usual i hope it works :)
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:iconakatsukisfallenangel:
AkatsukisFallenAngel Featured By Owner May 6, 2012
As usual you stun me, this is something that really makes me think. ^.^ I like it.
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:iconblackluna:
BlackLuna Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm one of them. :)
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:iconsakurajblossom:
SakuraJBlossom Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The format is intriguing. Not many poets experiment with moving the margins from the left side. I like how the offset lines give the reader a feeling of being disoriented. In a way this helps move the reader toward the last line.

I will suggest that you get rid of the commas in each left margin line. They are somewhat distracting and interrupted the flow of the thoughts.
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:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Student Writer
ahhh thank you glad you liked it thanks for the advice i will amend the format :)
Reply
:iconsakurajblossom:
SakuraJBlossom Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:-) It's easy to get a hand on using punctuation if you think of commas, colons or semi-colons as pauses. If you read the poem out loud and the pause feel strange chances are the commas don't need to be there.

Now periods are different because they (along with question marks and exclamation points) not only work to end-stop lines but can also give a different tone and emotion to a line that you originally intended.

(I think I will stop there, though. I tend to babble).
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:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Student Writer
ahh i get you i understand i should read it out aloud when im alone lol ahhh thank you for your help :_)
Reply
:iconsakurajblossom:
SakuraJBlossom Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! I am just learning all these tips and tricks now, from a great teacher. If you have a chance you should find a copy of Rebecca Wee's poetry!
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student Writer
ahhhh what teacher? i will thanks for the tip please feel free to check out some of my new stuff if you like
Reply
:iconsakurajblossom:
SakuraJBlossom Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Rebecca Wee.
Reply
:iconinvaderklo:
invaderklo Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2012
"Morin" is a part of your name!? So weird... me to
(BTW THIS IS EPIK)
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2012  Student Writer
really??? no way is it on your dad or mums side? where are you from? and thank you :)
Reply
:iconinvaderklo:
invaderklo Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012
my moms.im from Corpus Christi ,TX and no problem at all!!
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Student Writer
ohh wow thats so strange we could be related? lol
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:iconinvaderklo:
invaderklo Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2012
yea
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:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Student Writer
ooh :)
Reply
:iconpolishchuk:
Polishchuk Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Short, awesomely accurate, extemporary and written from the within. Awesome poem.
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:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2012  Student Writer
awwh thank you :) glad you like it :) please feel free to check out some of my other stuff if you like :)
Reply
:iconpolishchuk:
Polishchuk Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem, I'll see if I get interested in something ^^
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Student Writer
lol okay :)hope you do find something interesting
Reply
:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
i like the looseness, and the rhyme scheme (terza rima-ish)...though might thee be different imagery or perspectives to come at this from to set your work apart from the norm?
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
thank you :) hmm yeah maybe i like that idea thank you for the advice id like to think my work is different from the norm?
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:iconsilver-ships-fly:
silver-ships-fly Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
nice.
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
thank you please feel free to check out some of my other work if you like :)
Reply
:iconnarataree:
NaraTaree Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2012  Professional Writer
its in the wrong folder, please resubmit all your poems.
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
sorry will do
Reply
:iconlottie-girl:
Lottie-Girl Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2012  Student General Artist
Your 'structured consistent rhyme scheme' does 'work'
:D
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
lol cheeeky :) thank you my good friend :)
Reply
:iconjames-r-macadie:
James-R-MacAdie Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2012  Professional Writer
I feel this way every day. Nice to see it summed up so nicely in words. If only I had written something quite as nice, maybe some people would get the gist of how I feel each day. Great work. I love seeing my own thoughts and emotions (or similar ones) conjured into words from someone else's mouth or pen.
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:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
ahh thank you glad you liked it :) ahhh you can anyone can!!! im just average write anyone can do what i do thats what i believe anyway i am nothing special :) ahh glad you like it :)
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:icondarkbluewaters:
DarkBlueWaters Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You should post the longer version... I would love to read it.. <3
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
ok will do when im finished with it :) please feel free to check out some of my other work if you like :)
Reply
:icondarkbluewaters:
DarkBlueWaters Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Of course I will! :D
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:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Student Writer
:) let me know what you think
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:icondarkbluewaters:
DarkBlueWaters Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
SO MANY AMAZING POEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D
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:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Student Writer
awwwh thats nice of you to say thank you :) :)
Reply
:icondarkbluewaters:
DarkBlueWaters Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You are welcome, you definitely deserve it. ^-^
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner May 5, 2012  Student Writer
:) awwh thats so nice :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondinojokerrx:
DinoJokerRX Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very nice :clap:
Especially the structure :)
I love it :)
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
awwh thank you glad you liked it :) please feel free to check out some of my other work if you like :)
Reply
:icondinojokerrx:
DinoJokerRX Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure. You're welcome! :hug:
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2012  Student Writer
thank you :)
Reply
:icondinojokerrx:
DinoJokerRX Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome :)
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:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Student Writer
:)
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:iconnykiilynn:
NykiiLynn Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i love it - as usual. And your not the only to feel that way :iconyesmeplz: XD bahaha

btw: your signiture, rhymed with the last part - mostly XD its awesome :iconawesomeplz:
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
awwwh thank you :) lool im sure im not :)
and hahaha love it thank you lool
Reply
:iconnykiilynn:
NykiiLynn Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:) your welcome. :)
Reply
:iconniraj-gupta:
niraj-gupta Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2012
i dont have much to say on ths one. not that i dont like it tho - i actually do. i think the highpoint on this one is you skill in imagery. in this i see dull and bright colors. the lines with the curtains and the following two i really like. :)
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
ahhhh thank you as always dude :) yeah im really starting to like using rhyme now lol
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:iconstoryweaver29:
StoryWeaver29 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2012
You always write such good poetry.
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:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2012  Student Writer
awwwh thank you :) that just made my day im glad you like it :)
Reply
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