Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconkelalewis-morin: More from KelaLewis-Morin


Featured in Collections

Literature by WRITERandPOET

Written Thoughts by DeathLife97

Poetry by Rumor-the-Mirage


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
March 11, 2012
File Size
840 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
729
Favourites
43 (who?)
Comments
56
×
Stranded




Out of place,

Lost in space,
                    
                       What is my purpose?

Everyday,

I feel this same way
                              
                                When I wake up and draw the curtains.


Overshadowing questions,

Very few suggestions
                                
                                    But as usual nothing is for certain.


Living in the unknown,

Out of my comfort zone
                                     
                                     I bet I'm not the only one to have this burden.


Kela lewis-morin
something i wrote today originally a longer peice but i liked the rhyme in this not sure why lol let me know what you think i will probably upload the longer version of it when i figure out the scheme :). my ain was for this to be so simple but say alot in a few words tried to be plain and universal with the words and have a structured consistent rhyme scheme as usual i hope it works :)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconakatsukisfallenangel:
AkatsukisFallenAngel Featured By Owner May 6, 2012
As usual you stun me, this is something that really makes me think. ^.^ I like it.
Reply
:iconblackluna:
BlackLuna Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm one of them. :)
Reply
:iconsakurajblossom:
SakuraJBlossom Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The format is intriguing. Not many poets experiment with moving the margins from the left side. I like how the offset lines give the reader a feeling of being disoriented. In a way this helps move the reader toward the last line.

I will suggest that you get rid of the commas in each left margin line. They are somewhat distracting and interrupted the flow of the thoughts.
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Student Writer
ahhh thank you glad you liked it thanks for the advice i will amend the format :)
Reply
:iconsakurajblossom:
SakuraJBlossom Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:-) It's easy to get a hand on using punctuation if you think of commas, colons or semi-colons as pauses. If you read the poem out loud and the pause feel strange chances are the commas don't need to be there.

Now periods are different because they (along with question marks and exclamation points) not only work to end-stop lines but can also give a different tone and emotion to a line that you originally intended.

(I think I will stop there, though. I tend to babble).
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Student Writer
ahh i get you i understand i should read it out aloud when im alone lol ahhh thank you for your help :_)
Reply
:iconsakurajblossom:
SakuraJBlossom Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! I am just learning all these tips and tricks now, from a great teacher. If you have a chance you should find a copy of Rebecca Wee's poetry!
Reply
:iconkelalewis-morin:
KelaLewis-Morin Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student Writer
ahhhh what teacher? i will thanks for the tip please feel free to check out some of my new stuff if you like
Reply
:iconsakurajblossom:
SakuraJBlossom Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Rebecca Wee.
Reply
:iconinvaderklo:
invaderklo Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2012
"Morin" is a part of your name!? So weird... me to
(BTW THIS IS EPIK)
Reply
Add a Comment: