literature

Week to Weak.

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KelaLewis-Morin's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

Week to Weak.

Why is it the week days go so slow?
But yet the weekends are over in an instant.
I have gotten so used to being constantly on the go,
That every part of my life has become routinely consistent.

Whenever I have a time slot that is vacantly free,
I feel as if I should be developing or preparing for something else.
I always feel as if there is somewhere else that I was meant to be.
I never take full advantage of the short intervals I have to myself.

I’ve had enough of the early mornings and the constant yawning.
Dreaming of over sleeping and then opening my eyes all of a sudden.
Even the usual serene sounds of the birds chirping have become haunting.
Every morning I wake up to my annoying alarm and tap the snooze button.

I work, wait and anticipate for the week to end.

Making hopeful plans to catch up with some old friends.

And before you know it Monday has dawned once again.

I wish the weekends had more days imbedded in-between them.


Kela Lewis-Morin.
This is just how I feel right now lol I tried to use a lot rhythm and flow to portray what I am trying to say. I hope that a lot of others out there can relate to this because it would hurt me to know that I am the only one that feels this way lol I hope you guys like and let me know what you think :)
© 2013 - 2024 KelaLewis-Morin
Comments12
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Kadreshi's avatar
I want to start by saying I like the concept of this piece. It's something that people can definitely relate to. From there I'm going to jump right into it, and tell you, in my opinion, what the biggest issue with this piece is. For me, it's the technical side that's lacking. For Urban & Spoken Word poems, vocalization is a primary component, by that I mean it should be clear exactly what words and sounds are to be stressed or more vividly expressed. The way this poem is written, I can make my best guess, but it's not clearly defined. Without knowing definitively how the poem is suppose to sound aloud, the general flow can be damaged, and end up not having the desired impact.

On the other hand, I believe the poem does have a pretty solid finish. It really expresses the stress of the day in and day out struggle of a mundane existence.

Things that could use work: Primarily, the writing technique, spacing and punctuation in particular. There are some minor grammatical errors as well. For example, in line two you should avoid using two conjunction words such as, "but" and "yet". Also, some of it feels a little long winded and wordy to me, but that could just be my interpretation of how it sounds aloud.

Things you did well on: As stated it has an excellent concept, and a solid finish (particularly the final line). Furthermore, the external rhyme scheme is well done.

Other things worth mentioning: Neither the title or your name need to be in the body of the poem. Also, I think the title is catchy, but it's not clear whether it is suppose to be, 'Week to Week' or 'Week, Too Weak'. As a personal preference, I'd go with the latter. Either way, it doesn't need punctuation.

Overall, I think this would do better hearing it aloud, rather than reading it, because I feel its written form could use some work. However, it is certainly not without its merits. Essentially, it is good, but it could be better.

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